When you’re young all you ever want to do is be a grown up! As a toddler we tot around in our mums heels and delve cheekily into their make up bags. As a teen we think we know it all and demand the respect we are yet to earn. We dream of living on our own, under our own rules with no stupid parents telling us what to do.
And then it happens. Reality hits, adulthood is here and you literally pine for the days of yesteryear when your biggest worries were what penny sweets you were going to get on your way home from school or whether that boy you met on Friday in the drinking fields will be out again next week.
Cause let me tell you kids, adulting is not all it’s cracked up to be and here’s why:
That fairy that used to flutter into your room when you weren’t looking, pick all your dirty clothes up off the floor and bring them back cleaned and ironed, yeah she died. No amount of chanting “I do believe in fairies” is bringing that mega babe back, soz!
No longer can you put a couple of things away and everything is hunky dory. You literally have to scrub stuff, like the toilet! I’m sorry what? I did not sign up for this shit…. literally.
If you want to keep yourself alive and cannot afford to get a constant stream of take aways (which lets face it unless you’re zoella is highly unlikely) then you’re going to have to learn to cook for yourself EVERY NIGHT- I know, it’s a lot to take in. I managed to get by on basic pasta and cheese for a good few years but one day you may have other people to cook for too and you kinda want them to be properly nourished. Chuck some broccoli or kale in the mix for good measure and a bit of pesto if you’re feeling extra fancy.
This was fine as a kid because DAAAAAAD IM OUT OF MONEY works really well at 14 when you annoy him so much that he throws it at you to make you leave him alone. Doesn’t work so well at 26 when you have a full time job. Trying to explain that you REALLY needed the 17th pair of shoes and now you can’t eat really doesn’t phase the guy!
Nobody to look after you when you’re sick *cough* hungover
This is a big one! My recommendations are to keep frozen ready meals in the freezer at all times to account for this eventuality and maybe a secret snack/lucozade stash! Also take aways are totally acceptable here, as is calling your mum crying and telling her you think you might be dying in an attempt to guilt trip her over for hair stroking and home cooking.
Deciding you’re grown up enough for a pet then having to actually look after it
You’re parents can’t tell you what to do anymore you make the rules and if you want a cat and a bunny and a fish then you will bloody well go and get them, bring them home and feel all smug with your decision. Then you have to feed them (as well as yourself remember), clean up their poo, pay for their vet appointments. I mean they’re cute but CANT YOU JUST LOOK AFTER YOURSELF GUYS JEEZ!
A catchy destinys child song sure BUT a living nightmare that you will have to endure for the rest of your life! Enjoy 🙂
Mortgages / tax / pensions
Words that mean absolutely nothing and make no sense but are apparently like REALLY important. And no they won’t teach you about them at school so good luck out there on your own kiddo.
Having to work
Not like school one little bit. Longer hours, travel, having to be responsible for stuff. Oh and you will be doing it till your about 70 hahahahaha no seriously!
Thinking your exam days are over but they’re not
Apparently there’s such a thing as work based exams BUT you will probably have about an 8 year gap so you will completely forget how to actually function in that way again.
Having to be an adult in situations where you want to throw a tantrum
Yeah apparently it’s not ok to do that as an adult, who knew!
Being nice to people when you cba
Another adultism nobody warns you about
Knowing you should be able to handle your drink by now but you actually don’t
Know your limits babes cause rolling around the dance floor of your work Christmas party is not a cute look. Funny AF for everyone else though.
Hangovers are worse
You put on weight
You know when you’re mum says “it’ll all catch up with you one day, you just wait” and you laugh at her and say that she’s just jealous of your figure. Mate she was so right!
Motivating yourself to be a functioning human
Some days when you just can’t even… well you gotta even I’m afraid, we all gotta even!
So enjoy it while you can, grasp every selfish moment of your youth by the balls cause one day, this will be you’re reality. Ok maybe I’m being a little cynical, adulthood isn’t THAT bad, I mean there’s…… nope it really is GOOD LUCK 🙂
Peace and love xoxo