Its no secret that valentines is not my favourite holiday (see here for proof). I love love sure, but it’s more the marketing that surrounds valentines that sits wrong with me. The idea that if your man don’t bring you a gigantic teddy and a million roses then he’s not the one for you. The idea that, if you don’t receive a rose from a mysterious secret admirer that it somehow means you’re not good enough or worthy of love. NOPE NOPE NOPE.
Valentines seems to either be filled with smug couples shoving their “happiness” in everyone else’s face or single pringles being made to feel shit about their current circumstance even if they’re content with it usually.
Now let’s not get things twisted…I’m a sucker for romance and you will catch me watching rom coms with a puppy like longing, but it’s the expectation surrounding valentines that really bugs me. The notion that on this one random day of the year you have to prove to each other and to the world how in love you are with material shit. Not only this but the non-inclusive nature of the day really grinds my gears – why are the singles stereotypically crying into their ice cream and not being empowered to know that they don’t need no man or validation from anyone to be happy and worthy of love.
I’ve always pinned valentines as a win for commercialism and their incessant need to tear us all down for their own personal gain but that’s about it.
However…. enter #RevolutionValentine, the concept that has got me doing a bit of a 180.
Friday saw me attend an event at “She’s Lost Control” in Hackney… a day created to celebrate love in its purest form, whether that be the love for your partner, you’re friends, family, yourself. Re branding valentines in a way that is completely inclusive! No longer will valentines be a day for consumerism but instead a day to reflect on your blessings, tell the people in your life how much you appreciate them and to show yourself some love too.
It’s time to break the stereotype – this is not about buying things for each other, it’s about spending quality time with the ones who mean the most to you or practicing some serious self care.
Run yourself a glorious bath and drink prosecco surrounded by bubbles and candles. Cook dinner for a loved one and watch a movie in a bed sheet fort. Go for a winter walk and enjoy the company or the time with yourself. Be kind to strangers. Adopt an animal or spend some time at a shelter/sanctuary. Pay it forward.
Make valentines about spreading as much love as possible and not expecting anything in return. If you get something back then that’s great but the pressure and expectations that surround this day are what makes it a complete turn off for me. You don’t need to prove to anyone that you are worthy of love cause you just are. You don’t need to prove to the world how in love with your partner you are, just be present. You don’t need an excuse to love yourself, just do it.
Get your girlfriends round for dinner and drinks, send your family cute letters of appreciation, have a cosy night in with the other half or set out all your best spa stuff and crack open that prosecco – whatever you do this valentines and whatever your circumstances, just have fun and spread the love without the weight of expectation on your shoulders <3
The pictures in this post were taken at the “She’s Lost Control” #RevolutionValentine event in Hackney. It was such a lovely day filled with powerful, empowering women, cosmic energy and fiery cocktails. The event was held in their super cute little store and was the perfect end to my working week. If you are into all things magical I definitely recommend checking them out. They stock hand made jewellery, MamaMoon candles (which you know I love!), crystals and more. During the day I had a tarot card reading from Wolf Sister and an astrology reading from Francesca Oddie – both of which were SO interesting!! The world works in mysterious ways and I don’t pretend to understand it all but I’m glad the universe put me in this little cosmic bubble on Friday!